让一切随风...

风中风中 心里冷风

吹失了梦

事未过去 就已失踪

此刻有种种心痛

心中心中 一切似空
天黑天光都似梦
迷迷惘惘 聚满心中
追踪一片冷的风

各种空虚 冷冷冷
吹起吹起风里梦
过去的心 火般灼热
今天已变了冰冻

记忆中 突然又痛
只因空虚再作弄
你似北风 吹走我梦
就让一切随风

haven't posted any nice songs recently. haven't had the time or mood to actually listen to new songs these few weeks. but today, as i was having my weekly dose of xing guang, came across this song sung by 閻奕格. My first impression was, why the hell is she in this competition?? she's far far too good for this. far too good. gawd. the rest of the comtestants totally pale in comparison.

began having goosebumps by the pre-chorus. it's a canto song and she isn't even cantonese, yet she brings out the meaning of the song so succinctly. i was so impressed i ripped her cover into a mp3 version. and one of the judges aptly said:' i don't understand cantonese, but i was drawn into the song by the emotion and groove of the singer. didn't need to understand the lyrics, her singing made me understand what it was all about.'

so powerful, music is. such a powerful tool.

music transcends boundaries, lingustic or otherwise. if the music and singer is good, it really doesn't matter if you understand the lyrics anot..just like most people don't understand what pavarotti is singing in italian, but you would still be impressed by him.

閻奕格 is too imba. really. everything was done to perfection, nothing too much, nothing less. kudos to her. i'm impressed. very impressed.

there comes a time for singers, when key, pitching, rhymth, breathing, grooving doesn't really matter anymore. what matters is the picture you are trying to draw, what exactly are you trying to convey...sadness, anger, happiness, lovesickness? the image, so clearly drawn by the singer, proves her capability.

in the end, it's not the basics that make music. it's not the pitching, though it forms the fundamentals of good music. it's the ability to tell a story. the ability to paint out what you are feeling right now. the ability to describe in detail the story you are about to tell.

in 閻奕格's case, such a clear picture, of a lost love, of departure. she sings, with her experiences in life.

she is my aim, the pinnacle of music.

to draw the picture, in my own colours. in my unique set of colours.

fail fail fail.

by 10s. bloody hell. for a freaking 10s, i have to rebook, re-take leave, redo this whole damn ippt. extremely pissed off.

pissed off with myself, first and foremost. for not making the additional 10joule of energy burst to reach the finish line 10s earlier.

pissed with the PTI.

pissed with the whole system of having to do ippt in the first place.

just pissed.

------------------------

do you get this niggling feeling, that you're doing the wrong things, saying the wrong stuff? or that your best effort is never enough? or that your emphasis on life is changing?

coz i've been getting that alot recently..hmm...

i think...

i think, i'm still a distance away from the man i want to be.

i think, i'm just like a normal person after all.

i think, i've learned the importance of having someone who understands you by your side, and i never wanna let it go.

i think, when depressing thoughts come through my mind, i need to learn how to banish them and not let it affect me.

i think, i've understood the meaning of love. perhaps, just perhaps, i'm on the path of truly understanding myself.

因为你是我的眼
让我看见这世界就在我眼前..

Jansen

22/06/2010

The day when the truth dawned.

to my dear=)

in about 4 hours time, i'll be going off to hong kong for holiday with my parents for 8 days...

Will miss my dear so.. soo soo much=X

Hugs my dear=PPP

Anything still can message me okays?=) And don't forget our dates on the 19th and 25th=)

Love

Jansen=)

recent happenings

haven't exactly had the time and the mood to update my blog these few days, but lots of things happened.

firstly, now i'm back at iras! like finally. heh. and just finished the training phase again, will be officially on the line from tomorrow. hopefully no stupid people with stupid questions spoil my day tomorrow. LOL. there are just too many weird people around =P

next, results release yesterday. well i think i did better than i expected myself to, coz i was kinda expecting not so good grades for eg1413 and ssa2204, especially after the final examination, especially for ss. luckily, the lecturers/markers happen to like what i wrote and i have decent grades for both. ss is really a fluke; i really thought i was destined to S/U it after my 2nd class test got B-... lucky lucky..now i save one s/u for further use=P.

planning ahead, i just looked at the recommended schedule for next semester and beyond. looks like a really evil timetable. wonder if i should overload next sem with another gem or uem that i can (at least) afford to S/U if i don't do so well. that would free up my sem 6 and sem 7 to do more focused study on the really horrendously evil modules like cm3221, which smells of pure vindictive evilness after the cm2121 i took this sem, and cm4222. LOL. i just need to say the module title and you'll understand.

cm3221: organic synthesis and spectroscopy

cm4222: ADVANCED organic synthesis and spectroscopy.

well its a lvl 4000 module after all. confirm gonna be hard -.-

but for now, let's enjoy work (while it lasts and money comes into my bank account), enjoy the hols ( going overseas in mid june) and enjoy spending time with my dear (:

music and me

a very boring day in terms of things done, but did alot of thinking.

finally decided to watch the finals of xing guang competition. and the show was unexpectedly good! i loved the part on kenny G's performance and his impromptu collaboration with xiao pang. that's the true spirit of music; you do not need too many rehearsals, too much preparation work, when you step onto the stage, you're a musician (or a singer) and you just go with the flow of the music.

music, soothes my soul.

was feeling very down today, for god-knows what reason. i shouldn't really be lazing around, coz when i am, i just feel depressed. LOL. workaholic me. didn't have anyone to talk to, since dear went out with her friends and sis went for work.

maybe i'm just a possessive freak, but i just wanted someone there to rant to. didn't have any inspiration to blog today (until now). only had music to accompany me. indeed, music is always there.

the cure to everything, as my blog title suggests.

haiz. this is strange. just randomly depressed. wonder why.

couldn't bring myself to disturb my dear, since she was having fun with her friends and i didn't wanna infect her with my depression bug. kept checking my phone though (compulsive disorder already), and wished for something, something, something to appear, but it didn't.

music, heals, remedies my soul...

the superman who can't fly

如果超人会飞

那就让我在空中停一停歇

再次俯瞰这个世界

会让我 觉得好一些

拯救地球好累

虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没

因为超人不能流眼泪

we fail to realise that the supermen around us have their weak spots as well. even as you think they 'wouldn't mind', 'are capable of doing it', does it ever occur that they have no choice? that if no one does it, no one will do the dirty work?

and who symphatises with them? who understands them? who helps them?

most of us just take them for granted, or simply assume that they can handle it, on the basis that 'oh they have done it before' or 'i'm sure he doesn't mind'.

Supermen, too, need a break. need love, need protection, need the world to understand them, need to be appreciated.

give superman, like jay, a break.