i think in whatever one does, you must have determination and perseverance to see it through. to put in the hard work first, before throwing in the towel early and declaring that it cannot be done. you haven't tried, how do you know it cannot be done?

and to use the no-time factor isn't exactly that valid to me either. so you are the only person who has studies and CCA to juggle?

all in all, it comes down to your mindset, whether you want it to happen or not.

if you don't, just screw off and wallow in your self-pity.

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i realise i do work MUCH MUCH faster in school. i finished CN1111 and MA1506 tut in school today, although i kind of don't really know how to tackle some of the questions. but as the tutor says, trying and getting it wrong is better than not trying at all. at least, you went through the most important phase: the thinking process.

tasks for this weekend: CM2121 lab report! most important. need to finish by saturday. and do EG1413 tutorial 4 and start on assignment 1.

EG is becoming quite a pain. sitting through 2 hours of that is like sitting through GP in JC. equally, if not more, boring. worst thing is, cannot don't go=X. grr.

next week, week 4, is hellhole of a week. it's THE week in which i have everything. really everything. all my even week tutorials, my even week labs, my chem labs ALL fall on week 4. and i revise my statement on my tagboard; it's 33 hours of lesson next week.

woohoo. wish me luck.

but as i say, if you never try, how you know you won't succeed?=)

culture shock

first cm2121 lab today. wasn't as bad as i expected it to be. i realise, sometimes it's better to expect the worst, and when in reality it isn't that bad, you feel better. and relieved, that it isn't so shitty after all.

the first part of the experiment was scraped, with the compound given directly to us instead of us synthesizing it ourselves. thank god. i would be at that poorly ventilated, stuffy lab for another two hours if i needed to synthesize cyclopentadiene directly. and already i left the lab at 4pm.-.- aaron (doing expt 1) was still halfway through his experiment when i left.-.-

and most of us have no clue why we are doing what we are doing. IR spectroscopy? NMR? TLC? what the hell? never learnt it before. seems like the chemistry dept and the chem engin dept conveniently forgot that we chem engin students never learnt that in cm1501, which was taught by zhang sheng anyway.

grr..and zhang sheng's reply to our question on how to do the report was epic.

"So if you guys have not learnt IR spectro, don't need to include it in your report. Since you all don't know what it's about also."

hmm. really? so if i get a C for my report, do I complain that it's you who told us to do that?

i think not.

whatever. i'll just do my best and hope for the best.

feel nauseous after the lab as i was heading to central library. maybe breathed in cyclopentadiene and fumaric acid fumes.-.-

haiz. time to chiong report this weekend=X

feeling sucky. not sure why.

got this sense of impending doom about tomorrow. 10-7. such a cold feeling when i think about it. let's hope everything turns out well.

don't feel like doing anything today, just wanted to vent. for once, even singing doesn't help.=X

...

argh.

musings

should i stop giving advice? hmm. seems like the conclusion i draw after taking into consideration all the pros and cons of the situation, isn't a very desirable conclusion after all. well, will avoid being a consultant from now on.

sometimes when you are an outsider giving advice, you don't understand the inherent priorities of the person. And what seems the best choice from your objective viewpoint, doesn't necessarily appeal to the person.

now i know.

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had a very interesting talk yesterday evening when i stayed in school to do tutorials. 'learnt' alot of new stuff, or 'intel' as i would call it.

It is amazing how, really, irrational things done can just capture the attention of fellow humans. It's when people think...hmm, why is this happening, that you begin to delve into the whys and how comes of the issue. Unique.

And i'm glad (for lack of a better word) that some of us have a common consensus, or common analysis, of the nature of one. i've had doubts for quite some time, and it's interesting to note that others have been observing the same thing. Flawed character, however, isn't as scary as flawed intent. Reason being, you have no control over your inherent character but you have control over what you do. food for thought. Unique X 2.

and the interesting 'supernova' effect. for the sake of not infringing copyright, i've modified the name slightly=P. i think it's a social phenomena worth pondering about. and it makes sense actually. But it's what happens after the phenomena occurs that's disturbing. will the 'interest' last? when all the attention is gone, when everything dies down, will 'interest' turn into 'disinterest'?

--Don't worry if you don't understand; if you don't, it just means you aren't supposed to know.=P--

1st week.

and so the first week of school passed. quite relaxing, no tuts, no labs, no eg1413...which amounted to only a few hours of lecture a day.

but i know it won't last. unfortunately, next week lsm lab kicks in, all my tuts except math kicks in, and i'm gonna have an unholy 9hr day next friday.

luckily i did some work during the weekdays, which means i have not a lot to do on the weekends except read up on next week's lecture's and slack.=P was thinking of going out on sun, but since dear needs to rest, i'll prolly just stay at home and do 'useful' stuff like read notes and prepare myself for the week ahead=P

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going...

and so it's time.

在倒數聲中我剩下什麼?

solution to peeve 1: lecturer says it's an open lab concept. meaning, come at whatever time you want, leave at whatever time you want, just finish the experiment. means i can carry on and do the expt till 2pm on tues, go for lecture, and return to complete it.=P

solution to peeve 2: went to fujitsu repair centre today. the lady said no stock of LCD screens, so they'll call me when they do have stock for me to replace it.=)

蔡旻佑 - 你看不到的天空

我在你看不到的天空
看著燦爛的煙火
這城市孤單的人只有我

沒有誰在乎 誰跟誰 分手
每個時鐘都繼續轉動
許下你听不到的承諾
流星怎麼不墜落
在倒數聲中我剩下什麼
沒有誰甘心 對回憶愛不釋手

但我無力對抗 這整個世界的寂寞

我該如何去面對 整個世界的寂寞...

nice song=). so-so vocals, but nice melody.

1st day of school; was fine. lecturers for cn and cm seem zai and quite humorous. i'm beginning to like the modules alrdy=)
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recently been thinking about the issue of taking things for granted. for some reason, i've had this weird thought in my head. a storyline. something that goes like this...

'He had no chance.

As the onrushing car blazed past him, his last thought was the beautiful memories he had with her. So treasured, so precious, so... before all conscious thinking was wiped out, and the world became a patch of black.
------------------------
She cradled him in her arms, tears flowing uncontrollably as her mind refuses to register this numbing sight in front of her. It was just minutes before that he bade her farewell, that he told her goodnight, that he kissed her on the forehead.

What a difference a minute makes.

It wasn't until she heard a hair-raising screeching sound of tires and a loud thud that she turned around, and saw it. Something she wouldn't forget, probably for the rest of her life. How could she, as she beheld the man she loved being thrown out 15 feet into the air and landing on the ground with a sickening boom?

As she ran to him, her mind was panicking...'He must be fine, must be fine...'

And yet, she knew it was hopeless.'
-----------------------
decided not to take things for granted anymore. it was as though this vision was placed in my dreams for a reason.

treasure everything you have. man proposes, god disposes. you never know what might happen, no way to predict what is going to come.

if you can make your loved ones happy, why not? if you can make a difference now, why not? better late than never.

better now than never=)

argh.

Peeve 1: 7hr lab session on tuesdays from 10am-5pm. which clashes with SS lecture. and they only informed us about the lab timings today. good job. how now?=(

Peeve 2: comp is showing signs of crashing. just blanked out today. twice. holy shit. murphy ehh?=P please go away coz i don't like you.

it's when things like these happen that you know school is starting soon. all the shitty things happening all at once=(