Today, I lose.

Blogs are actually rather evil. They record what people are unwilling to say face to face, what might be potentially disturbing. Your deepest darkest secret can be locked away in your blog without anyone knowing, but sometimes letting people know snippets of information, or how you feel, might actually be the most hurting of all.

it creates a bloodless wound, but it hurts. like hell it does.

maybe i'm not the man i thought i was.
maybe i'm not as strong and infallible as i think i should be.
maybe i have overestimated myself.

maybe...

so many maybe's. i realise it's in times like these that you realise what you are made up of. What am I made up of?

weak, fickle and easily bullied? like before?

no. no longer.

the tide of negative energy can come and let it come. it will run out eventually. it has to. what matters is how you deal with the negative emotions, comments, senseless probing. it's the process. the process that forces you to freaking grow up. faster than you thought you could.

indirect assumptions and cunning manipulation may be the key to survival, but i don't believe in it. if winning means using underhand methods, by gaining your trust and betraying it...

then winning serves no purpose. at least not to me.

so You Win. Take it. It's yours.

it's a cold hard world we live in. and tonight, i feel colder than ever...

the path ahead is rocky, steep and dangerous. who will go on with me, that i can explicitly trust?