mine or his?

i always thought i was right to insist on doing it my way. sometimes it helps to have friends give their opinions.

i think they're right. it would literally be like copying what he does, and as xianyong said,'once you start to copy and imitate, you have lost.'

hmmm.

i was thinking since it was bizweek, the most important thing would be to capture the audience's attention instead of trying to put emotion into the song. since no one would be listening, what's the point?? so it's a good opportunity to showcase the technical part of singing. but then should i do it his way, or my way?

i wonder.
-------------------------------------------------
with every passing day, with every fleeting glance and parting word, it gets stronger and stronger. and i just wish you feel the same way too=)

Today, I lose.

Blogs are actually rather evil. They record what people are unwilling to say face to face, what might be potentially disturbing. Your deepest darkest secret can be locked away in your blog without anyone knowing, but sometimes letting people know snippets of information, or how you feel, might actually be the most hurting of all.

it creates a bloodless wound, but it hurts. like hell it does.

maybe i'm not the man i thought i was.
maybe i'm not as strong and infallible as i think i should be.
maybe i have overestimated myself.

maybe...

so many maybe's. i realise it's in times like these that you realise what you are made up of. What am I made up of?

weak, fickle and easily bullied? like before?

no. no longer.

the tide of negative energy can come and let it come. it will run out eventually. it has to. what matters is how you deal with the negative emotions, comments, senseless probing. it's the process. the process that forces you to freaking grow up. faster than you thought you could.

indirect assumptions and cunning manipulation may be the key to survival, but i don't believe in it. if winning means using underhand methods, by gaining your trust and betraying it...

then winning serves no purpose. at least not to me.

so You Win. Take it. It's yours.

it's a cold hard world we live in. and tonight, i feel colder than ever...

the path ahead is rocky, steep and dangerous. who will go on with me, that i can explicitly trust?

i'm going to try something crazy. something i have never tried live. but i'm quite confident i can pull it off. watch out next fri 12pm!(:

just realised this sat is internal evaluation. damn. still got lots of stuff not sorted out=X. hmm. nvm. just do my best and pray i don't get scolded by the judges. LOL.

and as time passes, i begin to realise, this is the one.
the one that will define my life(:

i find my meaning.

i realise i'm been blogging alot recently. think it's due to e-learning week=.= sigh. tomorrow is back to school. week 9 is predicted to be an evil week=X. but life goes on...do or die.=P and i plan to do!

read a blog of a friend of mine last night. at first i was in quite a 'high' or happy mood. but sadness and emo-ness is infectious. after reading it at 3am, my mood plummeted. i dunno what i can do to help him; i'm obviously not one to consult on regarding such issues. but his post was so sincere, almost pleading. so...sad.

maybe one of the reasons i feel so much is probably because i can understand what he's going through. i used to be like that, running low on self-esteem and self-confidence. i used to think what was my purpose in life? to study? to get a good job? to make my parents proud?

no.

you live your life for yourself.

you decide what happens in your life. you decide the path to take. you decide, whether you want to wallow in self-pity, or stand up and be counted. you decide, if you wanna create a story unique to yourself. and strive for it.

no one is worthless. just like no one is perfect. you have qualities, that are apparent to all, but you yourself are unaware.

that said, i'm just very glad that i have close friends who'll open a listening ear to my rants whenever i'm feeling down. friends whom i know i can trust and count on. and you all know you can count on me to do the same=)

P.S.: thanks for your late night msg(: though i read it kinda late, but thanks nonetheless! i'm glad you trust me, and i certainly trust you(: