mydearangel

so many things to remember because so many things happened today. let's start from sequence.

i woke up at 6 plus due to a weird dream i had last night=.= then decided i couldn't sleep anymore and decided to blog. that entry is locked, at least until when i think it should be released. and to the right person too.

went to school for math tutorial followed by performance at yih. 10 minutes before the show, my emotions were turning from emo/sadness to happy/giddiness =X. shall not elaborate. but suffice to know that my mood was visibly lifted. thank you, for letting me know =)

the sound system was still quite bad today. my first 2 songs were sung with me not hearing much of the music and i certainly couldn't hear myself.=.= but i thought 专属天使 and 记得 was okay. especially 专属天使. i could see marcus's expression when i DIDN'T do zy's version of 记得. so funny. he was looking at me expecting me to do the falsetto adlib, then when i didn't, he smiled. LOL. hilarious=D. and marcus nodded at me when i was doing 专属天使, and i could hear myself quite clearly, so i thought it was prolly the best song of the lot. maybe because i felt it was the most important song of the lot too?


if i was a little braver, maybe i would have made some comment while singing 专属天使. to talk about the 天使(angel) around me now=) but i wasn't. so maybe next time?=)

went for all the lectures including the utterly useless MLE one where the prof was squeaking to the freaking wall and no one could hear what he was saying. this kind of lecture is classified under the 'go home read textbook then understand' kind of lecture.=.= seriously. gawd what is NUS thinking??

went voices for a while, went through the band arrangement but kaili wasn't around so it wasn't very productive. went back after awhile to meet requiem and reason=)

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专属天使---Tank


要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
绝望的以为
生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
我有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望...

very nice song. never had the courage to try singing this, because it gets too high at the back and there is a technique i need to use that i haven't mastered. but today i altered it and made it sound like me =)
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I just want to see you happy. If you feel that it's your fault, don't. Because it was never your fault to begin with. And because I'm only happy if you are.

events and reflections...from the bottom of my heart.

did a short gig today at yih square. just two songs. didn't think i did it very well. the sound system didn't exactly catch my voice very well, so the sound coming out wasnt very gd too=X. but hey, every performance is a new learning experience. at least now i know how i must project my voice when singing outdoors =). and in a hot environment with no ventilation=.=

hopefully tomorrow will be better. don't think i'll try the same thing i did today; far too crazy for a live performance, and too risky. LOL=X. will just treat it like a normal singing session...

no stress=)

then went for lectures before settling down to do some work. and work i did. one full math tut in 1hr(personal best record=P) plus abit of mle. quite happy wif my productivity=)

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life is a chore when u have nothing to look forward to. look forward to what? finals? lab reports? lectures? it's just hard to keep sane. i think i know the rationale for MOE implementing compulsory CCAs in sec sch and JC; to keep students sane. if everyday was just lecture, tutorial, lab day in day out, i wouldn't have survived school =.=

for me, the most significant motivation now is a someone. you have no idea the impact you have on me=). many a time tiredness and frustration kicks in when i can't do something, the thought of you calms me down. and brings a faint smile to my face. my sis used to ask why am i smiling to my laptop screen; am i crazy?

she couldn't be more right=)

now, of course, there's voices. previously i used to sing to vent my frustrations. somehow singing is my way of relieving stress. it still is. they say that the way you sing, the way you express your emotions, the amount of emotion you put in your singing, is tantamount to your experiences.

how true. i've learnt how to put emotion in, maybe because i have undergone quite alot of it myself. sometimes, it's not a bad thing to undergo troubles.

because problems make you grow. and lets you know who you are as a person. make you realise, what's most dear to you.

to begin the journey of discovery, you must first discover yourself...

the little bright sparks in life

天使忌妒的生活---曹格

真的什么都别说
彩虹正在消失
我们赶快捕捉

以后的以后再说
你安静的眼神
也有一种节奏

Love is a beautiful thing
多美丽 多难得
Love is a wonderful thing
就是那么爱你
什么都想为你
爱是一种毒瘾
正在发作

你知道我爱你
会爱到很久
甜蜜不必急着说
慢慢享受
连天使都忌妒的生活...

fantastic song=). from gary's previous album. his latest was horrible=.=

hmm. have been quite busy recently, trying to do and compare answers for lab reports. grr. and loads of notes to study too=X. haiz. schoolwork is depressing.

needed a spark, any spark from someone, something, some event, to brighten up my life. one is coming, one has always been there=)

and i hope that spark continues on...

the most happy night i've had in a long long time(:

sis said dad reads my blog. oookay. lol. i asked her what's wrong with that, and she said 'i'll feel insecure if dad's reading my blog.' hmm. i don't see anything wrong with dad reading my blog, if he really does. i don't write discriminating stuff here, and neither do i rant about my family here.

anyone who's interested in my life can visit. no holds barred(:

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i went to school for internal evaluation today. had the semi-exciting job of being one of the emcees of the event. which meant i had to go up on stage about every 10 min and so no time to do my work=.= but nvm. more on that later.

then came the performance with kaili. i thought it was not bad. the three judges concurred that both me and kaili have nice voices and tonal quality and what not and that the thing lacking now is chemistry. and stage presence. they said, 'the guy is trying his best to bring the girl out but the girl doesn't really care...' well. i don't think that it's very fair to say that. kaili was trying her best already; that much i could see. she's tense and nervous, to be expected of a first time performer. i was worse when i first performed. experience changes everything, and unfortunately, experience doesn't come easy. you have to try, fail and try until you succeed before you gain this intangible thing known as experience.

but no matter. i'll try to bring her out more next time. singing wise shouldn't be a problem, coz i engineered it=D oops..sounds abit bhb huh?(: but i engineered it, and marcus and joel thought it was nice, so i suppose it's good?

then was called up on stage during the workshop by the teacher. sang ji de. so coincidental. he asked me to sing the song i'm singing next week. LOL. i thought my version was okay, but the key was a tad low, so didn't get to express myself that well. but surprisingly the teacher said it was not bad=X. okay. my standard abit too steep?oops.

next fri will be the ultimate challenge. i don't think i'm gonna copy cheeyang's improvisation, since many many many people have voiced their disagreements over this obvious plagarism. probably because only cheeyang does this, it's like patented for him only=X. but i can create my own improvisation, which wouldn't be as impressive as cheeyang's, but i can sing in 2 keys below a*mei's original key. that's qt hard actually. test the stability of my falsetto.

i believe i have a video of cheeyang singing ji de on my blog. think its one of the first few entries of my blog. during genesis recital.=)

then i came home and started chionging tuts and reports and essays and what not.
i have:
1) GEK essay
2) Alkynes tut(due wk 11, but heck, do first)
3) Alkenes additional qns
4) Matlab lab 8
5) Read up on MLE text for 4 chapters.
hopefully i can finish mostly all by tmr. should i go for tuition? hmm. i wonder.

watched l'pool fall to lowly sunderland without torres, gerrard and a host of other players. well. can't say i didn't expect that. the way they lost was shitty too. for more info read sunday times tomorrow. confirm alot of talk on that.

but what made me happy to the extent of still being awake at this nocturnal hour of 3am is none of the above. shall not elaborate here. no promises were made, no untrustworthy declarations were said. just plain heart to heart talk. and that is really enough for me(:

at that instant, we were happy. we laughed. we joked. we had friendly banter. we gave ourselves a reprieve from the mundane school work. we chatted. i appreciate it(:

uncertainty is just a verb. humans tend to have periods when they are unsure on what is their next step, what is to come, what is to be done. i've come across a few of such points. i can't say i dealt with them in the best possible method, but i step back. i think. i weigh the options. i make a decision. i forge ahead. even if it happens (touch wood) to be the wrong decision, you know you have thought through it seriously.

i can't tell you to think with your heart or your brain. both, to my knowledge, are equally untrustworthy=.= most of the time, it's a mixture of both. but this time, the normally rational me thought using my heart. rarely have i done so. hence i trust it (:

but then again, that is for the murky future ahead. as much as i wanna talk about it, it is simply not practical now.

for now, tonight (17 Oct 2009) is sufficient.

the happiest and most 'content' night i've had in a long long while=)

P.S.: for this entry, try not to tag=X. i wanna keep this memory as well. you can tell me what you wanna say on msn, in person, on FB, by msg. Appreciate it=D Thanks(:

P.P.S.: for those people who have read all the way to the end of this rather long entry, the performance is on fri about 1230hrs at yih square. behind s'pore post. come if you are free. watch me either spectacularly succeed or spectacularly fail =X think its a 9:1 chance. using Navier-Stokes equation, i calculated it and i think, if i eat breakfast on that day, it'll be a 19:1 chance. of course, that is assuming eating breakfast is a fixed variable........................=D