i think...

i think, i'm still a distance away from the man i want to be.

i think, i'm just like a normal person after all.

i think, i've learned the importance of having someone who understands you by your side, and i never wanna let it go.

i think, when depressing thoughts come through my mind, i need to learn how to banish them and not let it affect me.

i think, i've understood the meaning of love. perhaps, just perhaps, i'm on the path of truly understanding myself.

因为你是我的眼
让我看见这世界就在我眼前..

Jansen

22/06/2010

The day when the truth dawned.

to my dear=)

in about 4 hours time, i'll be going off to hong kong for holiday with my parents for 8 days...

Will miss my dear so.. soo soo much=X

Hugs my dear=PPP

Anything still can message me okays?=) And don't forget our dates on the 19th and 25th=)

Love

Jansen=)

recent happenings

haven't exactly had the time and the mood to update my blog these few days, but lots of things happened.

firstly, now i'm back at iras! like finally. heh. and just finished the training phase again, will be officially on the line from tomorrow. hopefully no stupid people with stupid questions spoil my day tomorrow. LOL. there are just too many weird people around =P

next, results release yesterday. well i think i did better than i expected myself to, coz i was kinda expecting not so good grades for eg1413 and ssa2204, especially after the final examination, especially for ss. luckily, the lecturers/markers happen to like what i wrote and i have decent grades for both. ss is really a fluke; i really thought i was destined to S/U it after my 2nd class test got B-... lucky lucky..now i save one s/u for further use=P.

planning ahead, i just looked at the recommended schedule for next semester and beyond. looks like a really evil timetable. wonder if i should overload next sem with another gem or uem that i can (at least) afford to S/U if i don't do so well. that would free up my sem 6 and sem 7 to do more focused study on the really horrendously evil modules like cm3221, which smells of pure vindictive evilness after the cm2121 i took this sem, and cm4222. LOL. i just need to say the module title and you'll understand.

cm3221: organic synthesis and spectroscopy

cm4222: ADVANCED organic synthesis and spectroscopy.

well its a lvl 4000 module after all. confirm gonna be hard -.-

but for now, let's enjoy work (while it lasts and money comes into my bank account), enjoy the hols ( going overseas in mid june) and enjoy spending time with my dear (:

music and me

a very boring day in terms of things done, but did alot of thinking.

finally decided to watch the finals of xing guang competition. and the show was unexpectedly good! i loved the part on kenny G's performance and his impromptu collaboration with xiao pang. that's the true spirit of music; you do not need too many rehearsals, too much preparation work, when you step onto the stage, you're a musician (or a singer) and you just go with the flow of the music.

music, soothes my soul.

was feeling very down today, for god-knows what reason. i shouldn't really be lazing around, coz when i am, i just feel depressed. LOL. workaholic me. didn't have anyone to talk to, since dear went out with her friends and sis went for work.

maybe i'm just a possessive freak, but i just wanted someone there to rant to. didn't have any inspiration to blog today (until now). only had music to accompany me. indeed, music is always there.

the cure to everything, as my blog title suggests.

haiz. this is strange. just randomly depressed. wonder why.

couldn't bring myself to disturb my dear, since she was having fun with her friends and i didn't wanna infect her with my depression bug. kept checking my phone though (compulsive disorder already), and wished for something, something, something to appear, but it didn't.

music, heals, remedies my soul...

the superman who can't fly

如果超人会飞

那就让我在空中停一停歇

再次俯瞰这个世界

会让我 觉得好一些

拯救地球好累

虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没

因为超人不能流眼泪

we fail to realise that the supermen around us have their weak spots as well. even as you think they 'wouldn't mind', 'are capable of doing it', does it ever occur that they have no choice? that if no one does it, no one will do the dirty work?

and who symphatises with them? who understands them? who helps them?

most of us just take them for granted, or simply assume that they can handle it, on the basis that 'oh they have done it before' or 'i'm sure he doesn't mind'.

Supermen, too, need a break. need love, need protection, need the world to understand them, need to be appreciated.

give superman, like jay, a break.

this is weird!!

weird is the only word i have to describe the performance at kovan today. really really weird. maybe its because my experience in this is lacking, but singing in front of the old folks was really really strange and awkward. lol. although all the performers were youngsters like me (and people approved of my singing! yay!), the atmosphere was just plain...

weird.

lol.

never mind, for the experience=)

maybe i should really think about a holiday job at dragonfly. sounds like a viable option too...

anyway, this song is boomz!!

今晚你想念的人是不是我/A-Lin

是你找到了我
在我的心中刻下了你的承诺
难道你不遵守

思念纠缠着我
闭上眼我就忘了恨你的理由
想起那些温柔
你为什么 放开我的双手
我试着体会 生命充满各种苦衷

我在黑暗之中寻找幸福的下落

等待原来那颗流星划过我天空
总要在说完再见以后 才开始明白爱多浓
今晚你想念的人是不是我

因为绝望 所以学会祈求
我也不想让心痛对我予取予求

想要爱到最后的最后
想要和你再一次牵手
除非我背叛我的灵魂
除非我可以假装快乐
除非你忍心放我一个人 难过
一无所有 我的天空
等你回头 OH NO NO NO~~~

我想念的人 会不会懂...

this song is boomz! arrangement, vocals, everything...is good. hehe. my new idol=P

tired..

sometimes, a brief separation is all you need, to know how important someone is to you. and this is when i realise how important you are to me.

you're all i'll ever need dear. all i'll ever need =)

------------------------------

hmm...i hate my former boss...she's really...such a goddamn bitch. never mind, maybe god is telling me i should take a break, or focus on other stuffs, or pursue my dreams=) i'll try to, if the opportunities do come knocking...

and i'm damnn tired, after not sleeping the whole of last night at chalet...zzz...and i have to wake at 630 tomorrow! which is wth...tiredd -.-