you go to jail, don't pass GO, don't collect $200.

can friendship be measured in terms of money?

when he asked me to help him, i said yes.

i asked him for the same favour, he rejected outright.

ok.

wow.

i'm not feeling bitter, just kinda disappointed. neither am i saying he's duty obliged to return the favour. just that it feels like a slap in the face with the curt rejection.

i can touch my heart and say that i try my best to help my friends when they need it, even if it means sacrificing certain stuff. i can help a friend who needs to meet a quota for number of interviews made; i can give free tuition if they need it; if they have urgent things to do i can help to relieve the load...etc etc

just disappointed that some people don't feel that way.

maybe i should rethink my beliefs about friendship.

when i wasn't picking up calls today, i was pondering about this issue. i'm a very soft-hearted person, meaning when someone asks me for help, as long as it's within my means, even if i really don't feel like doing it, most likely i'll still oblige.

does that make me weak? or more vulnerable? or does that mean i'm naive?

记得---张惠妹

词:易家扬 曲:林俊杰

谁还记得　
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话是我们
以后的伤口

过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手　
说要一起走到最后

我们都忘了　这条路走了多久心中是清楚的　
有一天　有一天都会停的
让时间说真话 虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后 我们都不知道会不会有以后

谁还记得　是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口
过了太久　没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手　说要一起走到最后

我们都累了　却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑　怎么说　怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么 也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人等着对方先说想分开的理由

谁还记得 爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中看见了不同的天空
走的太远　终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我　要有两个相反的梦

谁还记得　是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口
过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我和你 手牵手 说要一起 走到最后...

an emo song for an emo evening.

anyway hope zhiyang can get into top 3 to go taiwan. in terms of vocals, character and experience he probably pawns the rest, so jiayou!=D

patience is key...

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

Abigail Van Buren

my mum asked me a very funny question when i returned home today.

"Does your instructor scold you during the lesson?"

hoho. EVERY SINGLE LESSON.

ROFLMAO.

except today; he was rather satisfied with me =D

i feel like i'm riding on a random streak of good luck. like, suddenly my tuition kid msgs me for additional lessons when i'm feeling kinda poor. then i can somehow still end up punctual for both tuition and driving when i was 15 mins late in leaving my start point. murphy's law suspended. at least for the time being.=P

nothing much happened these 2-3 days. the normal working and slacking at home on off days. everything is at a lull at the moment, like waiting for something to happen. which i suppose is for school and orientation to start. can't really say i'm looking forward to it. i have a feeling i'll feel like going back to work when i start studying again =.=

but oh well. that's a problem for later. and i swore i won't think about future problems. =)

congrats to all those who successfully got into the uni of their choice after the appeal results =) things always work themselves out in the end, and this is no exception. optimism is the way to go! (even though buddy always says i'm the 'little bright ray of hope'. read: sarcasm. LOL. i'm just being realistic what!)

if time is the lock, patience is the key. it will come, sooner or later. just have a bit of patience, and everything will work out fine.

open your heart, and you'll see the paradise...

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.

Maya Angelou

=.= that's fierce. so why bother getting angry? even if you have to, let it not last more than 60 seconds. before it burns everything that you care about away...

got my laptop!it's a fujitsu L1010 and i installed most of the useful programs into it already. wootz! although it kinda reminds me that school is starting soon. LOL.

basically did nothing much this uber long weekend, the usual tuition and slacking at home playing with my comps(old and new) and watching serials online. =P

therefore had plenty of time to think and mull over stuff. i met mark at the pc show en route to going home. used to be extremely good friends with him and mz since we were in same cca for 4 years and then same class for 2 years. kinda drifted apart and lost contact while in VJ coz he took a different sub. comb. and didn't join CO like i did =P. we used to always hang around with each other, but now when i saw him it was like an unfamiliar face, unfamiliar words spoken...

friends drifting apart due to various environmental factors are dime a dozen, but could we have done more to avoid this? or rather could I have done more to prevent this? maybe i could have been more pro-active? Being "busy" is a really lame and inadequate reason coz EVERYONE is busy and EVERYONE has 24hrs a day. it depends on HOW you wanna spend your time and not complain that time is insufficient.

Cherish your friends, especially those that somewhere, somehow, had shared a special bond with you. You might never find another like that again.

To Mark(if you are reading this): Good luck to your studies in the States! And I hope to see you soon my friend!=)

左边---苏打绿

词/曲: 青峰

收拾好旧时光的伤口
投靠了陌生的河流
时间往前冲 冲散了你和我
冲散心跳脉搏
回忆寄放窗口

粉刷好旧屋檐的巷口
掩埋了泪眼的斑驳
在转角之後 扣上故事门锁
请你张开双手
让我死在怀中

握你的左手
散落在我手中的是温柔
曾经给你太多
伤心过 过後总会宽阔

握你的温柔
散落在我心中的是错过
我需要寂寞
来抚摸 雨季中百花凋落过後的沉默

也许就逐渐忘了有多久...

wow this is a class 5 difficulty song! extremely difficult to catch the rhymth and notes. lots of flat and sharp notes, but it's precisely that that makes this song unique and special. =)
cannot get enough of 青峰's voice too!

cheerful ramblings=)

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.

Dale Carnegie

in a rather good mood today=)

1) for once he didn't scream at me for the entire 2 hrs I was at the wheel. his assortment of ,"ahh, 很好" and "good!" took me by surprise. LOL. actually i was surprised at myself. i think i overcame my phobia of turning and gripping the wheel too tightly, hence leading to my smoother driving today. maybe it was the boost of self-confidence I gave myself and the sugar rush before i went for the lesson =P. anyhow i hope this streak continues =)

2) might be going to buy a laptop tomorrow! went with sis to suntec for the PC fair and there are already omg freaking people mountain people sea there on a fri afternoon! =X. will discuss with dad and go down there tomorrow? but i'm quite sure I won't buy a laptop cooler that CAN PLAY MUSIC =D

3) there's tuition tomorrow! okay isn't something to be very happy about coz it means working, but hey it's a source of income to pay for my driving lessons. payday tomorrow!=)

4) last but not least, no irritating tps to entertain today! =D. and i have an uber long holiday from today(fri) to mon. might be going shopping on mon. need a new pair of shoes =P

花---五月天

这一声 这一次 为自己 抬起头
至少要 骄傲的 盛开过

就狂舞如果吹狂风
就等待放晴的天空
如果雨越下越大 节奏就更猛

当风雨 都过去 迎着风 看天空
不放弃 才能够 有感动
这一生 这一次 为自己 抬起头
至少要 骄傲的 盛开过

有谁能听到我心脏
有谁能听到我绽放
谁能谁懂谁听见
也于是来自四方

当风雨 都过去 迎着风 看天空
不放弃 才能够 有感动
这一生 这一次 为自己 抬起头
至少要 骄傲的 盛开过!

a very nice happy upbeat song by mayday=)

The Menacing Glare

my instructor told me i have a MENACING GLARE. he was screaming at me for releasing clutch too soon and causing the car to jerk forward, and i got pissed off at his saliva spitting all over the place so i turned and stared at him.

then he KEPT QUIET for like twenty seconds.

then he said," your stare is quite scary..."

ROFLMAO!

and i swear driving a manual car will improve your standing broad jump. i held down the clutch for like 10 minutes in a row while waiting to freaking U-turn and my knee nearly cramped up while driving. LOL. felt like the effect of doing too many alternate leg thrusts and chicken backside exercises. seriously =P

was sorta distracted today though. for reasons unknown to myself as well (lack of sleep?=P) unlike studying or working, if you know you are distracted, you can afford to take a 5 min break to regain your concentration. not so for driving. you space out for 20 seconds and good game to your life.

think my driving has improved considering the quantity and intensity of his screaming has decreased. Significantly. LOL. hmm. i realise i still have a certain distrust of cars. kinda foolish to entrust your life to some machine that can't think for itself. actually i don't really trust things that can think for itself too =P. like humans.

Not that i'm naturally distrustful or something. but putting your trust in the wrong person at the wrong time for the most important things can turn out to be disastrous. so for such stuff, i depend on myself. at least if i fail, i can't blame anyone but myself for the lack of effort.

on a totally random note, watched game 3 of the nba finals and was super disappointed in kobe's performance. if not for his 5 missed free throws, the lakers will be 1 win away from the championship sia. he needs to WAKE UP HIS IDEA!

落叶归根---王力宏

词曲：邝裕民 王力宏

举头望无尽灰云
那季节叫做寂寞
背包塞满了家用
路就这样开始走

日不见太阳的暖
夜不见月光的蓝
不得不选择寒冷的开始
留下只拥有遗憾

命运的安排
遵守自然的逻辑
谁都无法揭谜底

远离家乡
不甚唏嘘
幻化成秋夜
而我却像落叶归
根坠在你心间

几分忧郁 几分孤单
都心甘情愿
我的爱像落叶归根
家
唯独在你身边

但愿陪你找回
所遗失的永恒
当我开口 你却沉默
只剩一场梦

我却像落叶归根
坠在你心间
几分忧郁
几分孤单
都心甘情愿
我的爱像落叶归根
家
唯独在你身边...

recorded this song on audacity and modified certain components. realised that my mid-range notes have the wrong placement. too nasal. need to practise my mid-range to get a nicer sounding voice =P a warmer, deeper, more 'backward' voice. if you get wat i mean.=X

rants and loves

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

Paul Valery

have been sleeping late and waking up early recently. seems like a vicious cycle to me. just can't seem to sleep early these days. and unlike what mum guessed(which most of the time happens to be wrong =P), it isn't coz of some random problem that's bugging me. it's the ABNORMAL CRAZY HEAT THAT IS GONNA KILL US ALL. zzz.

and the unholy chronic headache is back. with a freaking vengeance. strikes every year at this time between june to august. like the la nina and el lino waves, every year it returns to give me hell. jeez. maybe it's just something wrong with my brain.=P

kinda out of sorts at work today. and got some crazy callers. seriously bth.

Example One
"there are white spots on my TV. i think lightning strike my house antenna last night. how??"
ROFLMAO.

Example Two
"it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair (multiplied by infinity)"
(not happy plz call police. my eardrums can't take your nonsense you know)

Example Three
"you sure you can ah? you sure you can help me reinstate? you sure you can...?"
HANAR HANAR CAN HELP YOU LA WHAT ELSE YOU WANT!

GRR.

okay enough ranting.

suddenly went back to my 'roots' to listen all my chinese orchestrian music =D. quite effective as a mood-lifter sia. 泰山頌 - 日出,遠望,松濤, 攀登 and 台湾追想曲and 奋勇前进. soothes me the way classical music soothes most people.

maybe i'll join back CO in nus? *ponders*

*you thought, i think, who confirm?*

what if? if not? SO WHAT?

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Robert Brault

people like to ask too many 'what if's' and 'if nots'. generally these tend to be regrets.
why can't we ask 'so what' ? so what if it does? so what if you get it? is it really going to make a difference?

is it even going to matter at all?

i used to not care, living the carefree, happy go lucky life of mine. not so possible now i guess.

我还想她---林俊杰

作詞：邢增華 作曲：林俊杰

我不爱 我不痛 我不懂
我的心早已掏空
真心话 言不由衷

请告诉她 我不爱她
笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
横了心 说真心谎话

别告诉她 我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默 代替所有回答...

just a random sad song from jj's latest not-so-great album. but hey his song writing has never been under doubt =) lyricist is a random unknown person, but his lyrics are.....heart-wrenching and sad. normally emotional songs make me feel happier, but this one makes me feel worse...LOL.